Few of us have the luxury of being a stay-at-home pet parent. Our dog would do the inevitable weekday morning goodbye ritual can range from the puppy–dog eye treatment, to distress or even aggression. How can we alleviate our BFF’s stress when we have to leave them alone? And what can be done to temper dogs who take their frustration out on your furniture or belongings?

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According to researchers, the first several minutes after you leave are the most stressful for our pups. Dogs who react strongly to their new state of isolation generally act out the most during the first 30 minutes. The behavior is more common in pooches younger than two years of age, with pedigree dogs, Labradors and retrievers, more susceptible to separation anxiety.

According to Alice Potter, an RSPCA scientist, it is common for pets to express separation anxiety and  negative behavior with vocalizations such as barking, howling, and whining (something your neighbors will be happy to inform you about!), excessive salivation, or even vomiting, defecating, or urinating. In extreme cases distressed animals may engage in self-mutilation or repetitive behaviors.

So what can you do to help your fur baby relax in your absence? The RSPCA’s Dr. Emily Blackwell has developed a 4-step system designed to minimize your pet’s separation distress.

First, accompany your dog to its bed and sit with him for a few minutes; give him a treat for being quiet.

Next, tell your dog to remain in his bed while you move toward the door or a few steps into the outer room. When he complies, return and give him a treat.

Repeat this step, gradually increasing the distance you move away and the time you remain absent. Reward him when you return, unless he barks or moves. If this happens, go back to step one.

Related: Five Ways to Calm an Anxious Dog

The goal is to gradually work up to leaving through the door you exit in the morning, shutting it and then returning. Continue this process, extending the amount of time you’re gone.

It’s suggested that you not punish your pet for pooping, or destroying objects, while you’re gone since it can result in him anticipating the punishment thus escalating the cycle of anxious behavior.

Ms. Potter reminds owners that their fur babies are also, “more likely to relax when left alone if they’ve been fed and exercised beforehand.”

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